


5 Times Armitage Hux Defied His Father And 1 Time He Didn't

by fandomstakeoveryourlife



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Brendol Hux's A+ Parenting, Child Abuse, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self-Harm, Suicidal Hux, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-03
Updated: 2018-04-03
Packaged: 2019-04-04 19:50:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14027508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandomstakeoveryourlife/pseuds/fandomstakeoveryourlife
Summary: Armitage Hux and his father certainly didn't see eye to eye all the time, in fact, they barely saw eye to eye any of the time.Or,5 times Hux defied his father, and 1 time he didn't





	5 Times Armitage Hux Defied His Father And 1 Time He Didn't

**1**

From a young age, it had been drummed into him that being an Army General was the only thing he should ever to be. Yet, as he grew up, Hux continually found himself yearning for something else. The idea of the freedom to chose to be whatever he wanted increasingly appealed to him, as ideas and passions popped out to him again and again. But his father's words stood solid and any hobby or interest that had no link or contribution to the Army was quickly waved away and Hux' hopes drooped once again.

One area that appealed to Hux especially, was the creative arts. He loved the concept of letting loose and allowing your creative juices to flow into whatever it was that you were doing. Photographers, artists, writers and musicians alike inspired him. He sound his thoughts frequently lingering over the idea of creating some kind of artistic master piece. But, he knew, at any chance he had, his father would stomp his dreams down aggressively and punish him for having such childishly fictitious fantasies. The last thing Hux wanted, was for his last chance to be squished into the dust. So he stayed silent and secretive, using every private moment he could get to let go and set himself free.

One thing Brendol Hux did to ensure his son's interest in the Military, was sign him up to the local Cadets group. 

Hux, _hated_ it. His entire section was filled with stuck up assholes, who all dreamed of one day shooting down tyrant after tyrant, then seeing their fat faces plastered all across the news in celebration of their selfish victory. They sneered immaturely whenever Hux attempted to explain to them how the world really worked. Their lack of realistic intelligence of the real world and life in general, drove Hux round the bend and sent him over the edge way more times than was good. Time after time, Hux found himself being held back after a meeting, while the Sergeant spoke sternly in hushed tones to his father. He always knew what was coming when he got home. 

As soon as they stepped through the threshold of the Hux family mansion, Brendol would turn on Hux, his face like thunder. His voice would echo through the halls, ringing endlessly in Hux' ears as he bellowed about how much of a disgrace he was to his family name. Hux, himself, would shrink away from his father, pale and trembling, waiting anxiously for the inevitable backhand to slap him across the face, bruising his skin and creating perpetual white lies at every question. He would shake and nod his head as he was expected to; promise it wouldn't ever happen again, even though he knew it undoubtedly would; answer every question with "Yes, sir", "No, sir", and "Sorry, sir." 

And after it all, after all the shouting and beating was over, and the bruises were beginning to burn into his skin, he would kneel, shaking, on the cold bathroom floor, while his stomach purged itself out of pure fear and misery. He would flush the toilet and sit, leaning against the tiled wall beside the bowl, his knees hugged against his chest, quivering, with tears sliding silently down his cheeks, hating everything; his fellow cadets, his life, himself, his father. He would tell himself over and over that it would all get better and he could one day escape the madness he called his day to day life.

Hux was forced into the cadets at age 12, the youngest you could legally be. His father had attempted to pull some strings, or find a loophole in the rules, to get him in at a younger age, but, thankfully, his pursuits came up fruitless. From the first meeting he participated in, Hux was determined to leave before he turned 16. When he was 14 and a half, Hux achieved his aspiration and quit cadets.

Hux shut the front door heavily behind himself; he had walked home by himself as it was a pleasantly warm evening, and his father seemed to think he was at a trustworthy age by now. The house was mildly quiet, bar the murmur of voices coming from the direction of the kitchen. As he passed through the spacious living room, Hux tweaked his two year old sister's nose affectionately. Hux often felt sorry for his younger sister. Lilianne, or Lily, had not been a purposeful pregnancy, but Brendol had insisted a new baby would help bring the family together. No, she had simply forced them further apart. Their mother, Evelyn, had picked up a delightful drinking habit soon after the birth of her second born and Brendol had become even more violent and aggressive towards his wife and son. Hux found himself taking care of his younger sister, acting as a third parent, as well as protecting her from her irresponsible mother and father.

Entering the kitchen, Hux unconsciously noticed the three quarters full glass of red wine and half empty bottle of red wine beside his mother's elbow. His parents barely looked up as he walked in.

"I'd better not be getting another call from Sergeant Gill this evening." Even Brendol's voice had a scowl in it.

Hux shook his head as he took an unopened bottle of water from the fridge; his father didn't allow soda of any kind in the house. "No, you won't be getting as call from him...ever."

Now, Brendol jerked his head up, a fresh frown tightening his brow and deepening the permanent creases that sat there. "What do you mean? Have you finally sorted out your shitty attitude?" His tone was demanding.

"No, I've quit."

There was silence for a moment.

" _You WHAT_!?" Brendol thundered.

Hux flinched, his cool attitude suddenly vanished, and he felt like a frightened 12 year old again, drawing back away from his father in fear, trembling like a frightened puppy and begging in his mind that, this time it wouldn't hurt so much.

"I-I quit." His voice betrayed his anxiety, wavering as he spoke.

"You-" His father cut himself off in anger, then pulled his hand back and slapped Hux firmly across the face. 

His head snapped to the side, his cheek smarting. Righting his head, Hux touched his fingertips to the burning skin; he hadn't been hit properly in quite a while, but now the memories and thoughts were coming flooding back. Before he was ready, Brendol was was grabbing his collar and shoving him up against the wall in way that caused him to stretch up onto his tiptoes, so he wasn't being choked.

" _You_ ," Brendol spat, "are a _disappointment_ to the Hux family name!" 

He pulled back for a moment to inhale deeply, and exhale sharply. With both hands grasping his son's collar, he shook Hux back and forth violently, his face leaned in close, still snarling angrily. Hux felt his neck click as dizzying nausea rise in his throat.

"You know what!? I give up with you! _I fucking give up_!" Brendol finally let go of Hux' collar and shoved him back against the wall, making him smack his head against the too clean wall. 

"I am _done_ with your bullshit! I'm not going to bother with you _any longer_! But, you are _not_ eating here at all for _two weeks_. Am I understood?!" Brendol was seething.

Hux nodded hastily. "Yes, sir."

Brendol flared his nostrils, then he swung his fist at his son's face.

Later, standing in front of the mirror, Hux watched the black eye beginning to form, as blood oozed sluggishly from the split in his lip. He blinked through the swelling, and wiped the tears from his bluish place cheeks with jittery fingers. 

 _It will get better._ He told himself.

_It will get better._

_It will get better._

_It will get better._

**2**

High school was far more difficult than Hux could ever have imagined. The actual school work wasn't all that bad, it was just the mental strain it put on him. Hux found himself trying to change himself to be more liked and less seemingly despised by his classmates. The other students had this thing that he was just some shallow, poshass, who didn't give two shits about anyone else, only his money and himself.

They couldn't be farther from the truth. 

Hux yearned for just a single friend. But none ever came. Instead, he sat alone in every lesson. He was ignored, yet harassed at the same time. Boys in his year, and in the year above, bullied him relentlessly. They pushed and tripped him in the corridors. They stole his belongings. They dropped him in the huge dumpsters behind the school kitchens, then booted his bag onto the roof. When they changed for P.E. they grabbed his clothes and flushed them down the toilets, then nicked his shoes and locked them in their lockers. Hux realised he was lying about bruises over and over, for both his father, and the boys that hassled him again and again. 

He didn't realise it, but Hux was changing as a person, and certainly not for the better. 

He cut himself off from his family. Evelyn barely noticed, neither did Brendol, but Hux realised it himself when he listened to Lily screaming for at least fifteen minutes, then remembered it was usually him who comforted her. He had rushed in and scooped her up. Bouncing her on his hip, he shushed her, while tears streaked soundlessly down his unnaturally pale cheeks.

That was something else that changed; his eating habits. Food just started to become less and less appetising. Hux had never been a chubby kid, but he wasn't exactly skinny either. He hadn't realised he was losing weight, until some kid in the changing rooms at school called him a skeleton, and he looked down to see his ribs poking out a little through his white, paper thin skin. Hux wouldn't have called himself anorexic, because he wasn't deliberately starving himself, but he knew he should probably be eating more. After that encounter, he made an effort to eat a little more at meal times. Not because he was hungry or actually wanted to, but because he knew he should.

His music taste changed too. It had always leaned a little more to the rock/alternative side, but he had still liked a fair amount of classical. Now, all of is playlists were built up of pure heavy metal and screamo. He would use his bins headphones and lie, half hanging off his bed, with screaming music playing far too loud in his ears, until his head pounded so hard he felt sick and it was agony to open his eyes.

As the intensity of his bullying increased, Hux found himself feeling more and more empty and numb. He stayed up later at night, scrolling through page after page of the internet, barely even aware of what was on his screen. His art and mood boards of photography were becoming increasingly dark and depressing. He was becoming careless with his artistic side, too. Often, he didn't bother to hide what he was doing when his father was around, meaning he earned himself more frequent beatings. The bruises were darkening, and many a morning, he struggled to get out of bed. His attendance percentage dropped lower and lower, until the school called home, and Brendol found out he'd been bunking off school. 

Side note; fracturing your wrist from being deliberately shoved down the stairs, really fucking hurt.

Hux couldn't remember the time he first cut himself. 

He's read about self mutilation on line, and thought it sounded ridiculous. The kids at school were always poking fun at those who did it, calling them "attention seekers" and "cutters", they also said "across for attention, down for results", then howled with immature laughter. Hux had never understood how anyone could get satisfaction from slicing their own flesh. He wasn't really even aware he was doing it regularly, until he found himself curled on the bathroom floor, a bloody pencil sharpener blade sitting in his palm, his forearms slick with his own blood, sticking his fingers together as his hands shook, dripping bright scarlet onto the stark white floor tiles, tears crawling down his cheeks as his chest tightened and ached.

Hiding the cuts and scars was probably the most difficult. 

For a short while, he was able to wrap bandages around his wrists and claim he'd tripped down the stairs, like he'd done before. But, of course, that lie could only hold up for so long, then his 'fractured' wrists healed, and he had to find a new way to hide his dirty little coping mechanism.

P.E. was the problem. During normal school lessons, he could keep his hoodie sleeves tugged down past his hands, so only the pale tips of his fingers stuck out past his worn cuffs. The air con ran the in classrooms during the hot summers, so that was fine. But P.E. lessons, meant getting changed in front of his fellow students. He knew, if he attempted to get changed out of sight in the toilets, the other boys would ridicule him and probably find out anyway. So he simply tried to change as quickly as possible, then yank a hoodie on to do the actual P.E. lesson in, now matter how scorching hot it was outside. 

Sometimes, Hux wondered if any of the other students had caught a glance at his scars, but hadn't said anything to anyone, and was just keeping it a secret to themselves. He hoped not.

Though it seemed to help in the moment, Hux knew his self destructive habit wasn't doing him any good, but he just couldn't stop. Plus, he saw no reason to. Why should he stop cutting? No one knew, not that he knew of anyway. It wasn't really going too far, not yet anyhow. Yes, it wasn't exactly helping his confidence, and it didn't stop the bullies, nor his father, but it gave him a little more control over himself. It allowed him to feel as if he had more control over his emotions and thoughts, both internal and external. It helped him to not fight back against the bullies, in case he did something stupid, that got him a harsh beating from his father.

Speaking of Brendol, Hux was having to work to make sure neither of his parents found out about the wounds on his wrists, for he knew they wouldn't understand and would probably just get him booked into a psych ward, or something. Whatever they did, it would be because they were disappointed in him, not because they cared about his mental health, or him getting better, no, not at all.

 Then, suddenly, everything just seemed to come to a head. 

Hux'd had a really shit day at school; all he wanted was to come home, cut, and listen to overly loud music until he made himself physically sick. Instead, when he came through the front door, he found his father home earlier than usual, seething with anger, his face a boiled red with rage. He pointed one trembling, meaty finger at Hux, his teeth bared and snarled "Get. In. Here. NOW!" 

As Hux curled on his side on the bathroom floor, he tried to remember the last time he'd been hit so hard. Stars danced in his blurred vision when he opened his eyes and he'd already thrown up three times. One eye was swollen shut and his lip and nose were both bleeding so much, he couldn't tell where his philtrum ended and his mouth started. His mind wandered and thoughts slipped in and out of his mind.

_Why not end it all?_

Hux sat bolt upright, then winced and lowered himself down a little. Fuck, bad idea. He pondered over the thought. No one would miss him, he knew that. Why would they? He didn't exactly have any close friends, or really any friends at all. No one would question where he'd gone, or even shed a tear for him. Pushing himself up from the floor, Hux swayed drunkenly, then stumbled from the bathroom to find what he needed.

Sitting on the floor again, Hux held the box cutter between shaking fingertips. He licked his lips, then dug the tip into his pale flesh and dragged it downwards in one swift, hard motion.

*     *     *     *

When he was finally released from the hospital and then the psych ward, Hux had to wait another two weeks before he could return to school. Even though he was on medication and had been inpatient for three weeks, he definitely wasn't the same. At night, nightmare after nightmare kept him awake. It was always the same; stark white bathrooms, splattered with blood, pale, bluish arms stained with scarlet, endless white hallways flashing over his head, bright lights blinding his eyes and burning his retinas. He'd always wake up the same way too; sitting bolt upright, gasping and soaked in cold sweat.

School, when he returned to it, was absolute hell. No one talked to him now, they didn't dare. Everyone kept their distance, giving him careful looks, or staring at his wrists, as if they had x-ray vision and could see through his sleeves and to the scars embedded in his wrists. The scars themselves were a whole different thing now. Yes, he still had the horizontal slivers of white that snaked over his wrists, but now he had one pink, raised, puckered scar that slashed vertically down each wrist, there for everyone to see.

His parents were different around him, too, now. His mother was constantly asking him if he was okay, making sure he ate enough, making sure he took his meds, always checking his wrists and his bedroom for any kind of sharp objects that he could possibly hurt himself with. Now, if he wanted to sharpen any of his sketching pencils, he had to go find his mother and ask her to get one for him. She'd unlock one of the kitchen drawers and monitor him while he sharpened each pencil one by one over the kitchen bin. It was humiliating.

His father, Brendol, didn't seem to know how to act around him. At first, he seemed disappointed with Hux, then, it was almost as if the reality of what had happened had set in, and it was like he was treading on eggshells around his own son. It made Hux want to scream. He hated himself for attempting, because it was almost as bad now as it had been before he'd tried.

**3**

It was shortly after Hux' 16th birthday that he befriended Phasma. Or rather, she befriended him.

Hux was sitting alone in the lunch hall, his nose buried in book on drawing anatomy, when the sound of a plastic lunch tray banging down on the table made him jump violently and whack his head on the wall close behind him. Rubbing his head, Hux looked up to see a girl sitting at his table. 

"Hey." She said in greeting, waving a chip at him.

Hux blinked. He'd seen her before, around school, but never actually taken her appearance in. She was tall, especially for a girl; she had a good six inches on him. Her hair was bleach blonde, long on top and shaved on the sides, curling over a little. She was wearing one of the school basketball jackets and a pair of jeans. She looked completely neutral about sitting with the suicidal loner at his table.

"Hi?" Hux cringed at how questioning his tone was.

"I'm Phasma." She still retained the same casual look on her face, as if she did this kind of thing everyday.

"I'm Armitage Hux." He paused. "You're sitting at my table."

"I can see that, Armitage Hux."

Hux grimaced at his own full name, then quickly covered it up. Unfortunately, Phasma seemed to notice. A frown creased her brow, and she looked at him as if she was studying him.

"I'll stick to Hux."

"Thanks." Hux wasn't sure if he intended his voice to come out as quiet as it did or not. 

They sat in silence for several long moments, before Phasma spoke up again. 

"When's your birthday?"

Hux frowned a little. "Was two weeks ago, why?"

Phasma shrugged. "Just wanted to know." She paused. "We're gonna do something for it next year, I promise."

*      *      *      *

Hux would say Phasma was good for him. She pushed him to do things he would never have done if he wasn't friends with her. They hung out together, messed around, laughter together. Hux found himself smiling and laughing more than he could remember doing for a long long time. She helped him to deal with shit from other kids, and though Hux never told her about the abuse from his father, he knew she knew. On the weekends, or when he was down, she got him out of the mansion, and over at her house, or in town, buying overpriced coffee, laughing at people in the streets.

It was during this time, when Kylo Ren joined their school.

Kylo Ren was in the same year as the two friends. And though he was quite similar to them, he was also very, very different. He was taller than Hux, with broad shoulders and thick set muscle. He was built for fighting, where Hux was built for athletics and sport. Even though he had a wide stature, Kylo was more of a creative person. He joined the school rock/metal band, he joined arts clubs, he stayed in at lunch to do extra work in certain artsy classes. In Hux' eyes, he was incredible. 

Yet, he was a huge jerk.

Hux had passed him in the corridor, going to his locker, and had made some casual comment about the latest art piece of Kylo's, complimenting on its complexity and meaning. 

Kylo had turned on him and snarled "What the fuck do you know, asshole? You're just some fucked up posho who thinks 'cause he has all the money in the world, he the right to comment on everyone else and judge them." 

Kylo had then shoved him backwards and slammed his locker shut, before storming off the down corridor, causing crowds of younger students to part for him as he went.

Now, Phasma was encouraging Hux to join the art clubs too. But he was reluctant, for fear Kylo might be rude to him again, or even hit him. Hux had developed some kind of PTSD and often flinched when anyone got too close into his personal space, or moved too quickly, or made physical contact, even if it was the lightest brushing of arms. Phasma said joining the clubs would help this fear, and maybe he'd get closer to Kylo. 

She seemed to have this insistence that Kylo wasn't the asshole he had been to Hux. She had formed a sort of friendship with him, and now protected him from any kind of insult that got flung his way. Hux was skeptical. He'd seen the guys Kylo hung out with; his cousin, Rey, Poe Dameron and the guy Poe was dating; Finn. Hux'd had runins with Poe before, usually involving Hux being called names revolving around his red hair, or his pale skin, or his skinny build, or his money and posh family. They were always light jabs, but that doesn't mean they didn't hurt. 

Hux wasn't quite sure why he listened to Phasma, but the next thing he knew, she was shoving him through the door to the after school art club...thing. The teacher just smiled and welcomed him in. She was called Mrs Differ, and she wasn't his usual art teacher; but she seemed to know all about him just the same. She showed him the stuff they were currently working on, which was portraits and self portraits, and offered to give him a hand getting started. 

Hux shrugged. "I'll give it a go." 

The teacher smiled broadly at him and clapped her hands. "Great. There're mirrors over there, or some photos for you to draw from. Or, if you wish, you can draw from a photo on your phone. Just make sure it's a good quality photo. Give a shout if you need anything." Then she was turning around and walking back to her desk, leaving Hux standing there, looking awkward as hell.

After several moments hard thinking, Hux decided to draw from his phone. Once seated, he found a photo he'd taken of Lily about three days prior; she was lying on her back, feet and hands waving in the air, a huge grin widening her cheeks as she shrieked with childish laughter. Hux smiled to himself, then set up his phone. He pulled out his personal sketch book and opened to a clean page. Mrs Differ had told him they were allowed to listen to music, so Hux drew with earphones in his ears, Bring Me The Horizon pounding into his skull at a volume that was probably damaging his hearing, even though he already had a pulsating headache, that made his teeth ache.

He was so absorbed in his drawing, he didn't realise the session was over until the teacher touched his shoulder (which made him flinch), and told him it was time to go. She smiled almost sadly at him when he jumped away from her touch; she didn't apologise, but she just seemed to  _know_. Hux left the club feeling uneasy and shaky. Outside the school gates, Hux spotted Kylo Ren joining his little group of friends.

He wondered if they could see him from there. Probably. As he drew nearer, he wondered if they could see the shadow like bruise staining his right cheek, and if they could, did they care? Hux pushed the thought away; no, of course they wouldn't care. Why would they? They had no reason to. No one did. He tugged the collar of his hoodie up a little higher and hunched his shoulders. As he walked by the group, they seemed to grow a little quieter in their chatter, but didn't actually say anything to him, not even a single snide comment. That was a first.

Following the success of the first club, Phasma was insistent he joined the photography and music clubs too. Hux was far less enthusiastic than she was. After much debating, they compromised; Hux would join the after school photography club, but just stick to music as a hobby. Hux had been set on not joining the music group, as he knew it was pretty much just playing in bands, and he knew Kylo was a part of one of the school bands. The last thing he wanted, was to be criticised by the guy about one of his passions. 

The photography club, luckily, was empty of Kylo Ren and Hux found himself relaxing a little more and actually being himself, as well as enjoying himself. For the first time in a long time, he actually felt happy. 

*     *      *     *

"Your birthday is coming up." 

Hux looked up from his drawing. Phasma was watching him, as if she was warily waiting for his reaction. 

He shrugged and looked back at the sketchbook in front of him. "And?"

"Last year, I said we were gonna do something for it, properly."

Hux frowned. "What? Like, go out and eat somewhere?" 

Phasma shook her head. "No, I mean something _proper_. Something you want to do. Something _rebellious_."

Another frown crinkled Hux' brow. "Like what?"

A shrug came in response. " _I don't know_. Like, maybe, getting a piercing, or a dramatic hair cut, or a tattoo, or something."

"One, I can't legally get a tattoo; I'm turning 17, not 18."

"Fake IDs, duh."

Hux sighed. "Two, my dad would probably throw me out." His voice went quiet and trailed off at the end, he lowered his gaze uncomfortably to the table.

Phasma pulled a face. "So? Screw him. It's not like you like him anyway. Plus, you could come stay with me, my mom wouldn't mind."

Hux chewed his lip, then sighed. "Fine. Piercing and hair cut it is." He paused. "You can pick them."

"No. They're for your birthday. You pick what you want."

"Well I want you to pick for me."

Phasma grinned at him and Hux managed a small smile back.

*     *     *     *

The two stood outside the piercing shop. They had already visited the barber shop, and now Hux' hair was shorter and shaved on one side, so the other side hung down in more of a fringe. Hux could feel his hands shaking as he squeezed them into tightly balled fists. His palms were sticky and he felt minutely sick. He wasn't anxious about the piercing, just how his father was going to react.

"C'mon, we can't stand here forever." Phasma threaded her fingers through his, thoughtfully not commenting on how sweaty his palms were, and leading him into the tattoo and piercing shop.

The woman behind the counter smiled at them. 

Phasma grinned back. "One labret piercing, for him." 

"Of course. I just need you to fill out this form." The woman handed Hux a form and a pen. He filled it in with trembling hands and gave back the now slightly sticky pen. 

After picking out a plain silver coloured stud, the woman led him into a room with a chair in it. Hux was barely aware of what was going on. 

"Where do you want it, honey?" The woman was looking at him expectantly.

"Um, on the right side."

The lady dotted just below his lip with a pen and showed him with a mirror. "Here?"

Hux nodded. He kind of zoned out again, because, the next thing he knew, the mirror was in front of his face again, and there was a fresh, yet dull, ache in the right side of his lip.

"-there will be swelling, but the bar has enough room for that. Don't play with it and clean it twice a day with this." She handed him a little plastic bottle and a leaflet. "You can change the jewelry in 13 weeks."

"Thanks." Hux mumbled his words and stumbled out of the room, feeling dizzy and nauseous.

Phasma's face dropped when she saw him, but she plastered on a smile and thanked the lady all the same. She lead Hux out of the shop by the elbow, and got him to a bench, where she sat him down with his head between his knees, telling him to breathe.

At some point, Hux pushed himself back up into a sitting position. "'m good." He mumbled.

Phasma frowned at him. "You sure? You still don't look so good."

"My dad's gonna fucking murder me." 

Phasma pressed her lips together. "He won't, okay? I'm sure he won't even kick you out. He's got a reputation to uphold, you know that."

Hux nodded weakly.

"C'mon, let's get something sugary in you, then we'll get you home, okay?"

*     *     *     *

Hux poked the piercing inside his lip with the tip of his tongue. He knew he was lucky his dad didn't kick him out, or rip the bar out of his lip. However, he had been off school for a week, because Brendol had beaten him so badly, he'd severely broken Hux' ribs, to the point where he ended up taking himself to hospital because they were so swollen and bruised. He'd been told to stay off from school for at least five days, which he had. Now he sat at his usual lunch table, waiting for Phasma, with tape over his broken nose, a brace on his left wrist, three fingers strapped together on one hand and an intense bruise painted across his face. He had several lots of stitches too, but they were hidden beneath his clothing.

Phasma actually let out a shriek when she saw him. He had to gingerly stop her before she hugged him too hard. She sat beside him, her head resting on his shoulder as silent tears rolled down her face, while tears stung Hux' own eyes.

**4**

Once he was back at school, Hux noticed his fellow students acting differently around him, again. They still left him alone, but they gave him looks of sympathy now. Scarily, some actually gave him looks of understanding, occasionally. When that happened, it made him want to cry, because they obviously knew what his pain felt like, and had been through the same thing, at least once in their lives.

Phasma had become overly protective of him, not that Hux really minded all that much. He was trying his hardest to seem unaffected by the incident with his father, but he knew she saw straight through his plastered on smiling mask. Though she never asked about what happened, Hux could tell she wanted to; it was in her nature of protectiveness and being his friend. Occasionally, he'd catch her watching him silently, or studying his injuries. As soon as she realised she'd been caught, she'd flash a brief, slightly forced, smile and look away.

One person who certainly acted a different way around Hux, though, was Kylo. 

Hux would see Kylo watching him out of the corner of his eye. It unsettled Hux, yet at the same time, it didn't. He would get this prickling feeling up the back of his neck, like someone was watching him, then he'd turn a little and catch Kylo's gaze at the edge of his vision. Sometimes, Kylo would duck his head and look away. Other times he would continue to stare, then, as if realising what he was doing, would jerk his gaze away. Once or twice, he would glare at Hux, as if it was his fault, then look away haughtily. 

Another thing people seemed to notice, other than the bruises, was his new hair cut and piercing. Girls especially, would stare, almost dreamily, at the new editions to his features. Hux didn't mind so much, but he wasn't quite used to so much attention, and it started to get to him after about a four days. He just wanted to go back to being as invisible as he had been before his birthday. 

"They'll forget before long; don't worry about it, Tige." Phasma kept trying to reassure him, but it felt like it was doing very little and no one seemed very close to forgetting anytime soon.

It took a couple of weeks, but Hux returned to the clubs he'd been a part of before; when the bruises had mostly faded and he could draw properly, without his strapped fingers swelling, or his hand cramping in a way that caused sweat to break out at his hairline. When he did return, and he was seated at a mostly empty table, with spaces either side of him, Kylo Ren walked in. He looked around several times, before sitting down, carefully, beside Hux. For the entire session, they didn't speak a word to each other, all the while, Hux' heart was thudding like a bass drum in his bruised chest.

They sat together for at least four sessions, before they actually interacted with each other, properly.

Hux had walked in late, and sat down in his usual seat, beside Kylo. He pulled out his sketch book and started to continue the piece he'd been working on for two sessions now; a child, covered in hand prints and bound in bandages, sitting curled in a dark corner, hunched over and out of sight. At some point, he suddenly realised he couldn't breathe, and found himself wheezing heavily. The turtleneck he was wearing, to cover the deep, hand shaped bruises around his throat, certainly wasn't helping. But he wasn't about to take it off and reveal his horrific bruises to everyone. Fuck no.

Something nudged against his elbow, and Hux jumped, violently. Kylo was sat watching him, an unopened bottle of water in his hand, which he was offering out to Hux. Hux frowned in confusion and coughed chestily. 

Kylo rolled his eyes. "Just take it and drink, dumbass." Hux blinked at him, then took the bottle before his mind could convince him other wise. Twisting off the top, he drank carefully. The cool water felt incredible on his sore throat, and, before he knew it, he'd downed the bottle and was tightening the lid back on. Kylo watched him the entire time with a measured expression.

*     *     *     *

"See? I  _told_ you he wasn't a bad guy." Phasma was grinning with glee, while Hux just shrugged miserably and prodded his sandwich unenthusiastically. 

Phasma watched him. "You gonna eat that?" She nodded towards the sandwich. 

Hux shook his head and shoved the bagged food towards her. He knew he should be focusing on eating, and making sure he ate enough, so he didn't get too skinny, but god food was unappetising. 

Phasma seemed to have the same thought, because she frowned lightly at him and said "you should eat something, though." Hux shrugged again and fiddled with his fingers.

Phasma seemed to know something was up, but didn't say anything.

*     *     *      *

It wasn't until a week later, did she actually address something was wrong and ask about it.

"Hux." She started. She said he name carefully, as if she was thinking how to phrase what she was going to say next. 

"Hm?" Hux watched her, watching him, her expression measured.

"What's up?"

Hux blinked at her. "I'm sorry?"

Phasma took a deep breath. "Something's wrong, with you, I mean. Don't deny it, I know there is. So what is it?" 

Hux licked his lips and swallowed. "M-My dad-" He cut himself off; he never stuttered. Never ever. He took a breath and tried again. "My dad won't buy me my meds when they run out, 'cause he says 'm too fucked up to be fixed. An', he says, if 'm not careful, he'll force me to take those pills that cure homosexuality, 'cause he says 'm turning gay. An', he says, he'll strap me up and hit Lily in front of me-" He choked back a sob and dropped his face into his hoodie covered hands.

There was a moment of silence, then Phasma threw herself at him in a desperate hug. Hux buried his face in her shoulder and cried harder than he had done in a long, long time; Brendol always told him crying was for sissys, weaklings and disappointments. 

"I won't let him, Tige. I won't. My mom or dad'll buy your meds; I know they'd be happy to. You and Lily can come stay with us anytime, anyway, you know that, too." 

Hux nodded numbly and sniffed. She pressed one hand against the back of his head and the other rubbed smoothly up and down his back, then in soothing circles. Hux pressed his face into the crook of her neck, his eyes peering over her shoulder. He blinked wetly, his damp eyelashes brushing against the pale, bruised skin under his eyes. He swallowed hard and tightened his grip, digging the tips of his fingers into the soft flesh of her upper back and shoulders.

Phasma was saying something, quietly, to him, but Hux wasn't listening; he'd spotted Kylo Ren and his mates, standing across the study room, watching them. Maybe it was the distance between them, or the angle Hux could see him from, but he seemed to have a look of concern in his dark eyes. Hux blinked heavily and averted his eyes. He held his breath and Phasma squeezed his body firmly against hers and pressed a tight lipped kiss against the top of his head; like a caring mother to her weeping child. For a moment, he really did feel like a weak, pathetic, weeping child.

Eventually, Hux pulled back from the hug, sniffing still and wiping his shaking hands under his eyes and nose. Phasma gripped his forearms briefly, giving them a reassuring squeeze. 

"You can come talk to me anytime you want, you know that right? I'm always available for venting or, anything. You know that, right?" She tipped her head to the side and stared hard at him, probably waiting for an answer. Hux shrugged and ducked his head downwards. Phasma sighed softly and put two of her fingers under his chin and tipped his head up, so their eyes met. Blue meeting blue. 

"Say you know it. Armitage Hux, let me hear you say it."

Hux huffed, more put on than anything. "I know I can come talk to you whenever I need to."

Phasma smiled softly at him. "Good. Now mean it."

A smile ghosted across his lips, but it was gone before it had even fully formed, and the corners of his mouth were tugging down again, as his head tipped the same way. 

*     *     *     *

Hux stayed for the art club after school that day; any excuse to stay out of the house as long as possible, and away from his asshole of a father. As per usual, Kylo seated himself beside Hux, sending him a sad smile, which Hux returned with a tiny one of his own. Recently, Hux has noticed himself truly being himself around Kylo; he never forced a smile, not fully anyway, and he never did anything that wasn't genuine or true to himself. He found himself trying to catch Kylo's eye or being the first to smile, or the one to initiate a conversation, or be able to help Kylo if he needed it. 

It was weird as hell.

Hux was last out of the building at the end of the session. But when he exited the building, while choosing a song, he spotted Kylo Ren, waiting, by himself. Hux bit his lip, then made a decision and went towards Kylo. As he got closer, Kylo turned and smiled at him. Something fluttered in Hux' chest and he found himself struggling to swallow for a moment.

"Hey." 

"Hey." Hux breathed back, tucking his phone away into his pocket and looking at Kylo properly.

Kylo tipped his head to the side. "You okay?" For a moment, it seemed like he was going to say something else, then, seemed to decide against it.

Hux shrugged. "'m fine."

"Are you though?"

Hux narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "Why do you care?" His words came out in a harsh, demanding tone.

Kylo squared his shoulders and shrugged. "You looked hella upset earlier; am I not allowed to care about my friends?"

"I'm not your fucking friend." Hux wasn't sure where the anger had suddenly come from, but there it fucking was.

"So let's hang out more, and we will be." Kylo seemed surprisingly unaffected by Hux' temper.

Hux hunched his shoulders up and tensed his muscles. "Fine."

Kylo smiled pleasantly at him. "Great. Do you want a ride home?"

Hux blinked at him. "You were waiting here for me?"

Kylo looked around, his arms open in a wide gesture. "Do you see anyone else?" The was a moment of silence as Hux gave him a look. "Now do you want a ride, or not?"

"Yes, please." Hux replied after a moments thought.

The deep blue Pontiac Firebird was not the kind of car Hux expected Kylo to drive. Yet here they stood, beside it, while Kylo dug around in his, slightly battered, backpack, looking for the keys.

"It's my dad's old car; I'm gonna buy myself a new one, at some point." Hux nodded silently. 

Then after a moment's silence; "Gotcha."

They drove in near silence, bar Hux directing Kylo in the direction of the expensive estate his lived in. He noticed Kylo get visibly tenser and uneasy as they wound through the streets of mansion likes houses and never ending expanses green gardens, all with spitting sprinklers scattered across the lawns.

Hux licked his lips. "It's just up here; the one with the Bentley Continental." He pointed to the driveway. 

Kylo let out a low whistle. "Nice car." 

Hux wrinkled his nose in distaste. "Dad likes to think so; he's so fucking finickity about it."

Kylo pulled up, but left the engine running. Neither boy made any effort to move. Hux looked at the raven hair teen beside him. A pair of soft, dark eyes looked back at him. 

"Give me your phone." Kylo held out his hand.

_What?_

A frown creased Hux' brow, but he pulled his mobile out all the same, and unlocked it, before placing it in Kylo's upturned palm. He waited patiently while Kylo fiddled with it, before he received it back and tucked it away in his pocket again. He could already guess what had been done.

"So, are you free this weekend?" 

Hux thought for a moment. "Yeah."

"Great. Auklands Coffee Shop. 2pm. Got it?" 

Hux nodded stiffly. 

Kylo smiled back at him. "I'll see you there then."

*     *     *     *

Hux hadn't seen their meet ups as dates, even though Phasma insisted they were, until he was sitting in the park, beside Kylo, on a bench. Their shoulders were pressed together, their thighs touching all the way down their legs. A warm, tingling feeling had spread through Hux' flesh where it was in contact with Kylo's. He sighed quietly and tipped his head down to rest on Kylo's shoulder. They each had an earphone in and were listening to some death growling crap of Kylo's; Hux didn't really care to be honest. Then, he found his face angling up at Kylo, who was angled down at him. With his heart thudding heavily, they drew together. 

When their lips first met, it wasn't perfect or dreamy, like it's always made out to be. It was awkward and they didn't quite line up right. Their heads were at the wrong angles and their noses bumped clumsily. 

They both drew away and Kylo took Hux' head in his large hands and tipped his own head to meet it. Their lips connected for a second time, and Hux felt something incredible ripple through him. An intense warmth built in his lower region and he found his hands drifting up Kylo's body to grip his forearms. Kylo's hands pushed into Hux' neatly parted hair, brushing the strands out of place and ruining the parting.

They drew apart and second time, then went in for more.

The third time their lips parted, they sat for several long moments, with their foreheads touching, staring into each others eyes. 

*     *     *     *

"You _WHAT_?!" 

"I'm gay." 

A merlot red colour began to spread up Brendol Hux' face. He shook mightily and a vein pulsed on his forehead. 

He seemed speechless, with rage.

Hux watched him for a moment, before taking a deep breath and turning and exiting the kitchen.

**5**

"You  _WHAT_?!" 

"I have a boyfriend."

"We had an  _agreement_!"

Yes, they had. They had agreed Brendol wouldn't bother him for being gay, if he didn't have a boyfriend. His logic was; if Hux didn't have a boyfriend, Brendol didn't have to think about him being gay or having a boyfriend.

Except, now, that agreement had been broken, because Hux was dating someone.

" _Why you little_ -" Hux saw his father lunging for him too late and couldn't leap out of the way in time, before he was being pinned against the wall and beaten senseless. 

Brendol threw him to the floor and unbuckled his belt in one fluid motion. He cracked the leather strap like a whip. Hux barely his mother screaming and his sister crying hysterically over the sound of the belt buckle smacking against his back over and over again. 

" _Enough, Brendol_!" 

Evelyn had stepped forward and caught Brendol's wrist. She held him firmly in place and turned to Hux. "Take your sister and go." Hux hesitated. " _GO_!" 

Hux scrambled to his feet. He snatched up his sister. He left her at the bottom of the stairs, while he tore around the floor above, gathering as much as he could. As he ran down the stairs again, he stumbled and fell down the entire flight of wooden steps. He ignored the deep ache in his wrist, tugged on a coat and planted his little sister on his hip, even though she was nearing five and a half and around 40 pounds.

He didn't even realise where he was going, until he found himself limping down the street that Kylo lived on. He stumbled down the driveway and stood on the doorstep for a moment, bouncing Lily gently and begging she wouldn't burst into tears. He lifted his hand and knocked heavily.

The door swung open to reveal a slightly disheveled, grinning, Kylo. As soon as he saw Hux, Kylo's grin fell, replaced by a look of horror and deep concern. Hux felt his own face crumple and he struggled to keep his composure. 

The inside of Kylo's home was warm and homely feeling, unlike Hux' home, which felt empty and cold. 

"Mom?" Kylo called, leading Hux in the direction of the kitchen. Hux tried to pull back, but they were already in the kitchen, where, standing around the room, were Rey, Finn and Poe, along with a man and a woman, who Hux assumed to be Kylo's parents. All eyes in the room, went wide.

"Holy fu-" Finn slapped his hand over Rey's mouth before she could finish the word.

"This is Armitage Hux, my boyfriend." Before anyone could react, Kylo continued. "Do we have a First Aid kit?"

The woman stepped forward. "That's gonna take more than a First Aid kit to fix, Ben." She turned to the man. "Get the car ready." Hux' heart stopped; he knew what that meant. 

He shook his head rapidly. "N-No hospital." He voice shook and he clutched Lily tighter against his chest. 

The woman smiled reassuringly at him. "It'll be okay. You don't have to explain to them. Ben will come as well. We won't let them take you anywhere." 

Hux nodded. He looked at Kylo, who looked more than mildly annoyed at being called by his real name. He looked at Hux, then laced their fingers together and squeezed his hand.

**+1**

Hux wanted to say he forgave his father, for all the terrible things he did throughout his life, when he died. But he didn't. Not at all. He wanted to say he went to the funeral, walked in the procession, carried the coffin. But he didn't. His father wouldn't have wanted him to be there, so he wasn't. Kylo - Ben - tried to convince him to go, to say a final goodbye. But it didn't feel right. So he didn't.

Instead, his mother arranged the whole thing, along with her partner's help. After Hux left, she put up a bit of a fight, and left the house, herself, soon after. She made herself a new life, a new name, and found herself a new partner, after multiple therapy sessions.

Hux and Lily stayed with Kylo and his family. He never bothered to return to the Hux family mansion to get the rest of his stuff, either. He had therapy sessions, too, as well as attending a weekly support group for past abused kids. His mental state wavered; some days being better than others. He focused more on what he really wanted to do; his passions. He joined the gym, too, and went three times a week, with Kylo.

Lily grew up, without a biological mother or father. But Leia and Han basically stood in for her parents instead. She could only ever remember very little of the abuse, as he received little to none. Though, all she could remember of the night they ran away, was a hell of a lot of screaming. Hux was thankful that was all that was imprinted into her memory.

On the day of the funeral, Hux stayed at home, with Lily and Kylo. The three of them curled up on the sofa and watched Disney films together, even though two of them were 26 and 27 and the other one was 14. If Hux started crying, and it wasn't from the films, no one said anything.


End file.
